Isn't this a delightful surprise. I proudly announce with great pleasure, that I have successfully grown chest hair. Awfully macho of me, don't you think! A single strand has risen between the deflated mounds of flesh which presently masquerade as my breasts. Here nestled in the shallow valley of my cleavage, is a follicle of strength and courage. The tiny miracle stretches roughly two inches from root to tip. Grow my little chickadee, and spread your gospel to surrounding shafts. In view of this milestone achievement, I have also decided to sprout a beard. Certainly a substantial amount of facial bristle will make me more appealing to the opposite sex. What man could resist the rugged scruffy chin of a young girl? Fortunately, a nice thick mustache has already taken shape along my upper lip. With a tad more conscious effort, and possibly a light spritz of rogaine, I could blossom into the brawny lumberjack all men dream of mounting. Just look at
See, now that's what I'm talking about.